Psalm 88
Isaiah 60:1-3
Grief is an integral part of a senior's life. Our church had over twenty funerals last year. Each of those memorialized individuals were grieved by numerous friends and family, mostly elderly. There is one woman in our church who grieved the loss of her husband, daughter, and best friend all in the course of six months. I have heard many seniors say "It seem as if all I do is attend funerals these days." Grief can consume and/or numb us. If we have not faced it yet, we know grief is just around the corner, we can see it in the frailty of our elderly.
Psalm 88 is one of the few psalms that does not end in resolution.There are many psalms that begin with negative emotions but end declaring the goodness of God. This psalm has no such ending. The language is raw. "My soul is full of trouble . . . like a man without strength . . . Set apart with the dead . . . in the lowest pit . . . overwhelmed with waves . . . you have taken my closest friends and made me repulsive to them [any widow knows to put on a brave face if they what company] . . . my eyes are dim with grief." In the latter part of the psalm he cries to the Lord who seems far away and indifferent to what is happening to him.
I recall a part of a ditty that we used to say when we were young. I can't remember the context or even why we would want to repeat it but it went: "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, thinks me go eat worms and die" and this might be an appropriate ending to the psalm. Scripture does not duck the hard issues of life and facing grief is one of the hardest. This psalm allows us to feel pain with integrity--no quick fixes. Grief hurts in the deepest part of us. God knows that eventually the light will shine again, but in the meantime it is allowable to express the terrible loss we feel.
Grief takes longer than the six weeks we normally allow for those in grief to get back into the swing of things. Isaiah states that the Messiah will come to "comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor" (Isaiah 60:3-5). We all know that oaks are not grown in a short season. Those of us who grieve can use Psalm 88 to express the grief we feel. And we can take our time and experience it fully.
"All other religions either try to avoid pain or make one immune to it so that it will no longer be felt. This isn't the Gospel approach. The cross remains a human reality but the Gospel gives meaning to it, and that fact makes the difference. Once we know that suffering has a purpose or at least we can believe that there is meaning to it, we can endure much more. That is the Gospel message--that suffering need not be a loss. People can grow bitter through suffering but they can also become beautiful. And that latter serves as a grace to others. Their suffering has made them transparent, more open, wise and gentle. In them, we see the fruitfulness of the cross. Pain can glorify us and make us radiant and give a fruitfulness to our lives" (As Bread That Is Broken, Peter G. van Breeman).
Those of us who long to comfort the grieving can recognize their time for suffering and give them latitude to express their grief openly. We can hold them in our arms as they cry into our chest even when it makes us confront our own vulnerability--no doubt a costly gift to them. We can accept the raw hurt and anger they express without doubting their faith. Then God in his time and in his way will bring their beauty, gladness, and praise as oaks of righteousness to a fullness that will richly bless us all.
